THe Joy Diet: Nothing

Week 1 of The Joy Diet: Do Nothing for at least 15 minutes a day.

I knew this one would be a challenge, because I've tried it before.  However, it is now years later: I've evolved, right? I'm a life coach who encourages all my clients to develop a "reflective practice;" I tell them that this time is essential self-care.

So how did I do? 

Not very freakin' well! I've discovered that it's a lot easier to talk about the benefits of doing nothing than it is to do nothing. Just like my clients report, I find it very difficult to really do nothing. I get all anxious about the stuff that is not getting done and I feel guilty.  Now, there were times last week when I did do nothing (I was on vacation) but it was not an intentional nothing. Does that count?

Attempting to Do Nothing has also triggered my perfectionist switch in a big way:

• I fail at Doing Nothing if it is less than 15 minutes
• I fail at Doing Nothing if I am not absolutely still (mind & body)
• I fail at Doing Nothing if I skip one day
• I fail at Doing Nothing if I don't notice an immediate benefit
• I fail at Doing Nothing if even when I manage to not do anything, I feel guilty about it

So here's what I'm going to do:

• Focus on the successes more (for example, I did schedule time every day to do nothing -- blocked it out on my calendar)
• Allow myself to do nothing imperfectly
• "Be with" the guilt and let it teach me the lesson it wants to teach

Next week is Truth; sounds scary but for me, easier than the Nothing exercise. Of course I will continue to master Nothing over the next week too. Oh! I almost forgot! I like Jaime's suggestion to make vision cards. I might try my hand at that too.

Your thoughts?

Comments

[Sherry]

Seriously, I am so glad you chose to move away from the negatives of all the things you "fail" at and focus on the positives of what you will do! I believe we carry far too much guilt over things that we have no need to be guilty of...and who is the guilt directed towards? Ourselves? Someone else? I think it goes back to us -- we feel guilty about ourselves and it's something we would do well to let go of. I'm glad you are making the intention to keep going on nothing as we move into truth. Truth be told, you did well because (a) you tried this and (b) it opened your mind to other possibilities!

[Joanne Julius Hunold]

Thank you so much, Sherry. I knew that working through The Joy Diet publically would help me grow. I did not realize how I tend to focus on the negatives until I was composing my blog post. Then it hit me between the eyes, what I was doing to myself! And yes the guilt (for me) is aimed at myself. But at least I can recognize that feeling, and now that I have named it (and stopped trying to resist the feeling) I can see what it wants to tell me. I believe that when we feel "bad" our emotions are trying to get us to pay attention to something -- it's a message we would benefit to heed.

[karen]

How fantastic to move away from the negative and choosing to focus on the negative.
I find it is ALWAYS easier to give advice than to take it.

[Joanne Julius Hunold]

Hi Karen, I'm assuming you meant to type "positive" in terms of moving away from the negative and choosing to focus on the POSITIVE. Yes yes yes I find it about 10 times easier to be a good coach to my clients and share all manner of "good" practices -- but much harder to remember to do this myself. But I guess that's why they are called "practices" because there is always room for improvement. I am discovering that this blog is helping me call myself on my "stuff." Thanks for weighing in -- I love having a dialog about this!

[Sherry]

Joanne, you make such a strong point...that our negative or "bad" emotions are sending us a message! They are there for a reason and it is up to us to "listen" to be able to decipher what that message is so we can act on it. I love your honesty with yourself and your ability to see and to correct -- it is very inspirational!

[Tabitha]

Thank you for visiting my site! I know my mom saw her sitting still as wrong, because my grandma was the same way. But, somehow I knew this was not okay. I look forward to reading more by you!

[melita]

so much joy can come out of nothing, you really have to keep trying. it honestly gets easier and once you have gotten a hold of nothing, it really can become quite addicting :)

[karen]

Yes Joanne I meant moving from the negative to the positive, my mind is always ahead of my fingers when I am typing, I forget to edit!

[Joanne Julius Hunold]

@Tabitha: thanks for visiting my blog in return. Isn't this fun? I wish I had time to visit ALL the bloggers participating, but I guess I will have to manage my time by sampling a few each week.

@Melita: don't worry I will definitely keep on trying. I am sure it gets easier, and as you say, addictive. I've gotten a lot of good suggestions just by reading others' posts.

@Karen: sometimes I get so excited wanting to "share" that I forget to proofread first. It can result in some funny messages. Luckily most people understand my good intentions. I once left out a "no" and wished the person a trip with worries (instead of no worries).

[Snap]

I agree with Melita, NOTHING is a wonderful thing. Keep trying and WELL DONE for trying!

[Lisa]

I am so appreciative of your honesty! Here's to splendid imperfection, and sending guilt away for a holiday, while you continue to play with nothingness and being to explore truth....:)

[ellecubed]

As others have said, getting nothing really does get easier the more you do it. It is great to see that you are reframing the negatives and not calling them failures anymore.

[Valarie Budayr]

Thank you for your post and your honesty. Something that helped be was to just be. There isn't any right or wrong, there just is. Here's to Truth....see you next week.

[Joanne Julius Hunold]

@Snap: I have continued trying this week (the week of Truth) and it's still a struggle but I am having more successes. And when I do manage to still the mind, it's wonderful!

@Lisa, @Valarie, @Sherry: I so appreciate that you each acknowledged my honesty (it is one of my top values). I also find, that when I am willing to be honest with myself, publically, it helps others to face their own truths. I really find it empowering to be honest (besides I am not a good liar, so why try?)

@ellecubed: I think I would be better off banishing the word "failure" from my vocabulary -- I use it far too often, and it does not serve me. Reframes are great! Thanks for the reminder to do that.

Tomorrow is Truth Day! Hope to see all your insightful posts tomorrow. Hope I have time to visit ALL the blogs this coming weekend!